Drunken
by Veratican Justice
Summary: Ah, the weird and unnatural things being drunk can cause you to do. Request from NirvanaLuffyLover. Oneshot, Mild LuffyXNami. Rated T for Language.


**So this is my very first requested** **fanfiction, requested by one of my fans: NirvanaLuffyLover! So, uh, Nirvana, I hope this meets your expectations!**

**This is a request. That means that this may not reflect my own feelings. The plot is completely made up from the requester. Do not judge me on this if you disagree with the fanfiction. **

**Disclaimer: Veratican Justice does not own One Piece, nor the concept of this story, which the requester owns. (Then what the hell DO I own? XD)**

**Commencing: Fanfiction: Request: Drunken**

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**Drunken**

"Come on, woman! That all you've got?" Zoro grinned and swigged down his what was it? 500th bottle of beer?

"Shut up, Zoro." Nami snarled, her vision blurring for a moment. She reached for her next bottle, handed it to Sanji who cracked the cap open, and chugged it down. She closed her eyes as dizziness overtook her, then shook her head and slammed the bottle down. "Listen up," She slurred slightly, a nasty edge creeping up on her voice. "Don't just think I'll back down easily."

Robin frowned as she watched Zoro and Nami spar. (In terms of drinking alcohol.) Everyone knew that Zoro was King of Alcohol, and that he could swig down twenty barrels of beer in one go and still be sober enough to take on an entire marine squad.

The orange haired navigator was, of course, ranked second in terms of alcohol drinking, as young Nami had gotten used to beer and sake when she was in Arlong's crew. But really, as much of a drinker as Nami was, she couldn't beat Zoro. The poor girl must be too drunk to think clearly.

"Go Nami! Go Zoro!" Luffy cheered, watching as Zoro cracked open his 501th bottle.

"Nami-swan, really, I don't think you should.." Sanji took the bottle out of Nami's hand. "It's bad for your body!"

Chopper nodded. "Yeah, Nami. You can't beat Zoro- his body is a lot more used to it than you are!"

"Don't be silly," Nami snatched the bottle back, Sanji doing nothing to stop her as the cook couldn't defy his lovely Nami-swan, and fumbled as she opened the cap.

"Is she going to throw up?" Usopp eyed Nami cautiously, edging towards the door.

Sanji kicked the sniper. "Nami-swan would never do such a disgusting, un-ladylike thing!"

"We never know, do we?" Zoro grinned, clearly enjoying Nami's struggle to remain conscious.

"Sadistic, uncivilized Marimo."

"What was that?"

"SHUT UP!" Nami had stood up, her chair toppling sideways. The quarrelling twosome shut up immediately, no doubt scared by the angry (and drunk, I might add) navigator. She sat back down, only to fall flat on the ground.

Zoro couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing, soon joined by Luffy (who didn't have a clue on what was going on,) and Usopp (who just happened to like these sort of things.)

"Shut up!" Sanji snarled, kicking the guffawing Straw Hats in the head. "How dare you laugh at Nami-swan."

"I can handle it myself." Nami snorted, pulling up the chair and sitting down. She reached for another bottle, chugged it down, when a curious look came over her and she slumped down.

"Oi, Nami." Luffy was by her side immediately, poking her and grinning like Nami was some new damn game. "Are you okay?"

"Hnnn?" Nami glanced up, completely drunk now. She grabbed Luffy by his collar, the captain now really confused, and kissed him full on the lips.

Sanji's cigarette fell from his mouth as the cook gaped at the scene in front of him. _Lucky bastard…_

Robin's mouth was parted in shock, her eyes widening. Then she recovered almost immediately, letting out a soft "Ufufufufu" like she knew something that the rest didn't, or was just extremely amused.

Usopp was screaming, pounding on the door and yelling about how there was going to be _an apocalypse because Nami kissed Luffy and oh, the horror and frightful the thought was and it was scary and he was going to die because- _Sanji screeched at him to shut up and Usopp promptly began foaming at the mouth.

Chopper was stuttering, hiding behind Robin. "Wow… I never thought Nami was this kind of person…"

Robin smiled. "Indeed, Doctor-san."

Zoro was smirking, enjoying the shades of colors Sanji's face was turning as the cook strode over to yank Luffy out of the drunk Nami's grip.

Luffy, on the other hand, was the most confused of them all, the young boy having no sexual feelings towards anything at all*, thus knowing not what a 'kiss' or 'sex' was.

Sanji yanked Luffy out of Nami's grip, snarling at the captain. "Listen here, you damn Gomu, how dare you do that to Nami-swan! I'll fucking kill you, you hear me?"

"But I didn't do anything!" Luffy protested. "She was biting me!" He glanced back nervously and cautiously at Nami, who had sunken into unconscious.

"Liar!"

Robin stepped up between them. "I believe that this brings us to the end of the drinking competition." She waved a hand and feet sprouted on Nami's back, carrying the navigator to the door. A hand sprouted out of the door handle, grabbed the metal sphere and wrenched the door open. The feet carried Nami outside and away to the girl's dorm. "I'll take care of Navigator-san." She stepped out of the door and smiled at them. "Cook-san,"

"Yes, Robin-chwaaan?"

"Feel free to punish Captain-san as much as you like." Robin closed the door. Chopper, Usopp and Zoro, sensing a very bad Sanji tantrum, scrambled over each other to get to the door. They slammed the door shut, leaving the rubber captain with the cook.

"RRroobinnn…" Luffy whined and Sanji slammed him into the wall.

"I'll get you for kissing Nami-swan, you fucking Gomu!"

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**End**

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***Maybe apart from meat**

**So if you have any requests, just send me a PM and I'll try my best to please you! (Requests may only be written as Oneshots) Hope you liked it, Nirvana! Reviews Greatly Appreciated!  
**

**- Veratican Justice**


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